The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher
To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
Ernest Hemingway
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Quentin Crisp
There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
Benjamin Spock
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy Mitford
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thoughts on Kids
Food for Thought
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Is there another word for synonym?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Is there another word for synonym?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?
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